One evening I was out with a very close friend of mine and as usual we were crusin’ the local watering holes. Well, this friend of mine, who I’m going to refer to as “X” in order to avoid any embarassment that the re-telling of this tale might cause, had a well deserved reputation of being good with his fists… or a beer bottle… or whatever. Anyway, my buddy and I end up at a rather large club where the owner had heard of X’s rep. It seems that there had been a fight there and the loser of that contest ( in which, in this case, X had no part ) had returned to the club and asked the owner who it had been that he had fought with and who, he said, had sucker punched him. Well the club owner points out my friend X so over comes this guy proclaiming just what he was about to do to X. Back then Florida had a helmet law and we hadn’t been in the bar long enough to find a place to stash our brain buckets so when this loud-mouth gets into range X dishes out a vicious right roundhouse with his helmet to the side of the guy’s head. He went down like a sack of potatoes. When X asked the bar owner why he had set him up the guy told him that he’d heard about him and wanted to see what he would do. Well, we go on into the club and are treated to some free booze… actually a lot of free booze. In about an hour or so another fight breaks out on the dance floor. I was so buzzed that I didn’t even notice but X’s radar went off and he grabs my arm and says “Let’s go!” I had no idea where we were going but having been there before with my buddy I took off after him… but he was running alongside and then away from the action. I followed him and he was headed straight toward the bandstand where he knocked himself silly when his head hit a microphone on a boom stand. As I stood looking down at him I realized that I was drunk but he was drunker… so much drunker that when he had tried to run toward the fight that had broken out he lost his balance and began that sideways run that you have seen drunks do when they try to go one way but they’re so messed up that they go another. It was so damn funny that we forgot about the fight going on and just sat there and laughed. That wasn’t the first time that X had been knocked down but it sure was the only time that he did it to himself!