Doing the Hoochie in the Hoochee

I'm going to tell you part of a story about a friend. I'm not going to tell you his name. I'm just going to call him"PA" I'm also going to start in the middle of PA's story 'cause to try and tell the whole thing would take too long and I'm sure I'd get a bunch of stuff wrong. So let's begin with PA sliding 67' on the pavement because of a left-turner who just happened to be related to the local sherrif's department. In order to shift blame, the local cops shifted all the blame onto PA by among other things claming that he threatned them. PA was railroaded and if you don't think that this sort of thing goes on... well... just wake up! So PA gets labeled as a violent & mentally ill offender and off he goes. He ends up in the state mental hospital. The state also orders that he be shot up with all kinds of drugs to control him. In spite of this, PA figures out that this is a much better gig than prison. In the "Hoochee" he gets to wear his street clothes and has a hell of a lot more freedom to roam around. The food is catered by a local deli and gourmet food service. He can get a Pell Grant to finish college. He gets all the ice cream that he wants. PA gained about 20lbs from the good food alone.  The shop instructor tells him that he can have his panhead brought in and only he will be alloed to work on it. He can even ride it within the 500 acre fenced-in hospital. After a little while they even stopped shooting all the damned drugs into his veins. Lots of contraband was smuggled in and even brand named licquor was to be had for twice the "outside price". The library had an incredible music and video collection and he could watch all the first-run movies. But of all this and more the wildest thing was "dance night". That's when the "crazy women" were brought over for a little co-mingling and R&R. They were all loaded up on state provided mood elevators and in the mood to party. If you asked for condoms you got them... the state didn't need any more "crazy babies". The guys and gals were lonley. "Dance night" was greatly anticipated. When the girls got there they didn't care about much. Everybody did the hoochie at the Hoochee. So if you've got to go away, take PA's advice; "If ya go, go crazy. Go crazy depressed. Ya get better drugs that way. Don't go angry 'cause they screw with you too much then but if you're depressed they try to make it all better. And make sure you don't skip dance night!!!"